Things That Helped and Hindered My Recovery
By Kenny Smith
Recovery is not something that happened overnight for me. It was a long and often difficult process that required honesty, humility, support, and a willingness to face parts of myself I had spent years avoiding.
When my addiction and secrecy came into the light, I quickly realized that simply wanting to change was not enough. Lasting recovery required intentional action, accountability, and a completely different way of living. Along the way, some choices and practices greatly helped my healing, and there were also attitudes and patterns that slowed my progress.
I’m sharing these lists not because I have done everything perfectly, but because I know how overwhelming and discouraging the beginning of recovery can feel. My hope is that these insights will encourage someone else who is trying to find freedom, rebuild trust, and pursue genuine healing.
If you are struggling, please know this: change is possible. Healing takes time, courage, and support, but you do not have to walk through it alone.
Things that helped my recovery:
Embraced my brokenness
Adopted a “whatever it takes” attitude
Actively sought out help and began working through a sex addiction curriculum
Changed my routines to limit or eliminate triggers – avoiding rather than resisting temptation
Gave my wife access to all of my usernames/passwords to remove any secrecy from my life
Started pursuing intimacy with God and my wife instead of my usual pattern of running from intimacy
Read books and watched videos with my wife, and discussed what we were learning
Joined an online recovery group to break the pattern of isolation
Started meeting with a therapist to gain an understanding of the roots of my addiction
Initiated difficult conversations with my wife and answered her hard questions
Things that hindered my recovery:
Underestimated how long recovery would take and how difficult it would be
Didn’t reach out to a mentor to guide me through this new territory
Reluctance to share my story with anyone else
Thinking my wife and others would reject me if they knew the truth about me
Putting my wife in the role of accountability partner
Thinking my problem was pornography instead of realizing it was only a symptom of my deeper problems and a medication for my inner pain.
If you see yourself in any part of this story, don’t wait to begin your own journey toward healing. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to walk through it alone. Whether you are struggling personally or trying to navigate the pain addiction has caused in your relationship, Mended Mentors is here to provide guidance, support, and hope for the road ahead.
Schedule a free consultation to learn more about mentorship, resources, and next steps toward lasting healing.
